Confidence is everything…
If
you are confident, then you believe in yourself. You believe in your ability to
take action and accomplish your goals.
But
without confidence? You’ll struggle to get what you want in your career and
relationships.
In
this article I will show you how to be more confident in yourself by giving you
9 actionable tips you can use today.
#1: Set “Bite-Size” Goals
If
you want to be more confident in yourself, then you need to build trust in your
ability to get shit done.
You need to prove to yourself that you can take action and
accomplish your goals. And the best way to do this
is to set small “bite-size” goals that you
can accomplish in just a few weeks.
For
example, rather than setting the large goal of “getting a new job”, set a
smaller goal to “update your resume” or “apply to five different companies”.
This way, you can quickly accomplish your goals, build trust in yourself, and
create massive momentum in your life.
Right
now, think of your #1 goal. How can you make this smaller? What is a realistic
goal for the next week or 2?
#2: Identify Your Insecurities
Setting goals is crucial, but defining your fears and insecurities is even more important.
Right now, ask yourself: “What am I embarrassed about or ashamed
of? What am I afraid that other people might discover about me?”
Then
make a list.
This
is a list of your top insecurities. We all have them, so don’t be embarrassed.
However,
just making this list will not cause them to magically disappear. But it will
help you acknowledge them and accept their reality. If you want to get over
them, then I suggest you pick one and share it with a close friend or family
member. This will not be easy, but it will help you remove the shame associated
with it.
#3: Practice Facing Rejection
In the video above, I demonstrate how to get over rejection by approaching women.
After
surveying thousands of men, it’s clear that our #1 fear is failure and rejection.
We
are afraid that we are going to fail to live up to the expectations of other
people… and our own expectations… and it scares the crap out of us. This is
normal, but if you let this fear stop you from going after what you want, then
you will never reach your goals.
Instead, you must force yourself to face this fear on a daily
basis. This is the only way to overcome it. For example, approaching one
girl every single day and giving her a compliment or asking her out.
These
“comfort zone challenges” will desensitize you to your fears and help you stop giving a fuck what other people think.
#4: Practice Decision-Making
If you want to reach true self-confidence, then you must be able to make fast decisions.
Most
of us make the mistake of over-thinking and over-analyzing every little choice.
This will cause you to lose confidence in yourself, because you’re essentially
training yourself to doubt your gut instinct.
Instead, you must build your “decision-making” muscle. You
must practice making decisions on a daily basis. Here are a few simple ways you
can get started:
·
When you eat out, select your meal off
the menu in 30 seconds or less
·
When you are getting dressed, select
your outfit in 1 minute or less
·
When you make plans with a friend,
always be the one who makes a suggestion of what you should do
·
These steps will program your mind to make faster choices when
you’re facing more significant decisions.
#5: Try New Hobbies
If you want to be more confidence, you need to try new things.
You can’t spend all of your time inside your comfort zone and
expect things to change.
One
of the best ways to “switch things up” and expand your comfort zone is to
experiment with new hobbies. You never know, you might find a hidden passion
you never knew existed. Or you may even meet a new best-friend… or girlfriend.
For
example, I never tried martial arts until a
few years ago. Sure, it was intimidating walking into a gym full of
experienced fighters at first. But I quickly developed a new social circle and
built confidence in myself as I learned to defend myself.
Other
hobbies I recommend would be: salsa dancing, cooking, weight-lifting, fishing,
hunting, or photography.
#6: Spend Time with People You Admire
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”
If you spend most of your time with lazy people who just want to
get drunk and hang out, you will become equally mediocre. But
if you spend time with motivated people who push you to get better, you will
quickly gain momentum in your life.
If
you want to build muscle and get fit, then hit the gym with your buddy who is
jacked. If you want to get better with girls, then go out with your buddy who
is naturally charming.
I’m
not saying to destroy your old relationships, just to spend less time with
people who hold you back.
#7: Silence “The Voice Inside Your Head”
In the video above, I share 5 techniques you can use to instantly silence negative self-talk.
When you’re feeling a lack confidence, it usually starts with “the voice inside your head”. You know, the little voice that says you’re going to fail… that says you’re too ugly… that says other people are trying to hurt you.
The
truth is that 99% of the time this voice is wrong! But it caused you to get
stuck inside your head and start feeling awkward and nervous.
This is why you need “tools” to help you silence this voice and
stay out of your head.
Here
is one quick trick you can use right now: whenever you start to hear “the
voice” getting started, stop and focus on the sensations in the bottom of your
feet. This forces you to stay “out of your head” and keeps you feeling calm and
confident.
#8: The “I Love Myself” Affirmation
The final “hack” is a simple affirmation.
Affirmations
are short statements that you repeat to yourself in order to boost your mood
(and “hypnotize” yourself into actually believing it). The most effective
affirmation I’ve ever tried is the “I love myself” affirmation…
Here’s how it works: stare at yourself in a mirror and say “I love
myself” 5-10 times.
This
sounds very basic, and maybe a little weird, but trust me it works. At first it
may make you uncomfortable, but if you do it every day for a few weeks in a
row, you will quickly start to feel true love for yourself as you repeat these
words.
Full
disclosure: I stole this from Kamal Ravikant’s book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It. It’s a quick
read that I highly recommend.
#9: Lift Weight
Lifting weights is quite possibly the easiest way to build self-confidence.
It
will help you build muscle and burn fat. And this will make you look better.
And looking better will make you feel better about yourself.
Plus, like it or not, people subconsciously perceive muscular men
as more confident and authoritative. This
means other people will treat you better as well. On top of this, it will give
you a whole lot of anti-aging benefits like increased bone density and stronger
posture.
If
you’re new to lifting, I suggest you try
out this simple barbell routine to get started.
Source: https://bit.ly/38QEyIh
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