Always do what you are afraid to do.~Ralph
Waldo Emerson
Have you ever felt
like you were just not good enough? That somehow everyone had received the
handbook for life, except you? Do you keep waiting for the moment when you will
finally arrive and feel like you have made it?
Yes, I have been there
too. When I was younger, I was sure that age 35 was when I would definitely
arrive at my full self — that I would finally become who I really was
and who I was meant to be.
When I turned 35, I was
in a state of shock when I realized I had not arrived at this age as I had
imagined. I did not have it all figured out. Far from it.
How had I arrived at
this spot in my life and still felt like I had so much to do to get where I
wanted to be in my career? With so many unknowns?
I felt angry.
·
Angry at myself for
being so uncertain about my future
·
Angry at all of those
people who supposedly had it all figured out
·
Angry that I didn’t
have it figured out by now
I lashed out. I cried.
I tried to stay busy, so I could avoid the thoughts that
were hurting me so much.
Take a Closer Look to Find the Answer
After many days of
doubt and self-loathing, I decided to start writing in my journal again to try
to make sense of what was going on. Why I was feeling so much anger toward
myself? Feeling so inadequate?
From that reflection,
I realized that my insecurities stemmed from my recent decision to leave
my corporate marketing career and become a writer.
I felt like I was
starting from scratch again. There were so many uncertainties and so many
things I had to learn. Should I really be doing this now?
But I knew that if
there was one thing I would regret not doing in my life, the answer was being
a writer.
That was how I decided
that I had to start from somewhere, even if it was from the beginning
again — to build the life and career I wanted — and that meant dealing
with uncertainty head on.
We are all wired to
want to control our environment. Once we let go of control, we are able to
understand that change is a constant part of life.
Here are four ways I
learned to embrace uncertainty. These tips can be helpful anytime you’re
starting something new or stepping into the unknown.
1. Reframe Imperfection
Perfection is a shield
we use to hide from our true gifts.
The most ironic thing
I discovered is that those things I thought were my biggest imperfections are
actually my greatest gifts. This was so freeing.
So first and most
importantly, we must reframe what imperfection means.
By embracing our
imperfections not as faults, but as a demonstration of our unique gifts, we can
see our strengths more clearly.
2. Avoid Seeking the Approval of Others
We all want to
be accepted and loved. However, to really live the life we
want we need to tell the truth about who we are, not wait to get praise or
approval from others first.
This is a difficult
thing to do, and it takes practice. One thing I learned to do is to keep a Self
Appreciation Journal where each day I acknowledge and keep track of the things
I am most proud of, the good choices I have made, and the successes I have had.
This type of practice
strengthens our trust in
ourselves, so we don’t always need to look for others for the answer.
3. Rethink Risks
When we start
something new, there are so many things we are uncertain about.
It was helpful for me
to reframe these moments of uncertainty and the outcomes of these new actions
as learning opportunities.
By taking small risks,
we move out of our comfort zone and into the learning zone.
We can reframe
outcomes that did not go as planned not as mistakes but as good ways to get
feedback and learn something new.
4. Know That You Are Enough Right Now
It hit me that I had
been bogged down with a list of all of the things I needed to learn, to master,
to do before I felt ready to start the career I
really wanted. I needed to stop waiting.
We need to let go of
the stories we tell ourselves about where we are supposed to be. We are all
becoming who we are every day, over and over again. There is no arrival point.
I like to say this
short affirmation when I am feeling stuck:
“I am enough.”
I am enough. You are
enough. We are enough.
Build the Life You Want
The only thing
constant in life is change. To fully embrace uncertainty we must replace fear
of the unknown with curiosity.
With a curious
mindset, we can see the new pathways that point in the direction of our dreams.
Are you ready to
embrace uncertainty and build the life you want?
The world is waiting
for us to tell our stories and live our dreams. Let’s get started.
Heidi Hill is a recent
corporate escapee, now a full-time writer and well-being educator intent on
helping everyone reach their full potential. Visit her blog LifeInFullBloom.com where she translates cutting-edge research into simple
and practical strategies for fulfillment and success. If you would like to
cultivate more gratitude in your life grab her free 7 Days of Gratitude Kickstarter Course.
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