“If you do not change direction, you may end up where
you are heading.” – Lao Tzu
A few years ago, I decided to change my life for the better. I
thought I would write about the changes I decided to make in case others could
benefit from it. There were numerous reasons why I wanted to make these life
alterations, but the main ones were:
1. I knew I was capable of so much more. I wanted to make an
effort to exploit my full potential and accomplish more and I was not doing
that.
2. I was not in the best of health. I was too sedentary, out of
shape, had visceral body fat around my waist, I kept late hours, and I drank
too much alcohol.
3. My overall lifestyle habits were not conducive towards a
healthy and productive life.
4. I wanted to be more mindful and happy and worry less.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. That was my motivation.
I conducted a lot of research online and read many books on happiness, health,
success, productivity and overall wellness. After devouring a wealth of
information from famous self-help experts and some not so famous ones, I
recognized a commonality between all of them as they pretty much were all
advocating similar strategies.
I carefully and discriminately decided on the changes I would
make in my life. I purposely chose changes that were practical, effective, and
achievable for me. I wanted lasting changes and not temporary ones that were
based on euphoria. For certain aspects, I made complete 180-degree changes
while for others I made small behavioral changes. I did this because certain
changes were harder for me to make than others.
I came up with a list of 31 specific habits that I wanted to
change. Here is what I did:
1. I decided to have a daily routine which I followed
diligently. I did not have to wake up in the morning and figure out what I
needed to do because I had a routine that I adhered to. It eradicated the
guesswork.
2. I set clear goals that I wanted to achieve. I wrote these
down so that there was no ambiguity. These goals were specific and clearly
stated so that it was obvious when I achieved them (or didn’t). Because there
was no vagueness, I knew when I fell short.
3. Based on the advice of others, I made sure the goals I set
were quantifiable and measurable. For example, rather than saying I would
exercise often (what does often mean?), I said that I would exercise 4 times
per week for 1 hour each time. Because my goals were so specific, I was able to
review my progress (or lack of) easily. And I did a review every week.
4. Not only did I develop a daily routine, I also decided to
plan my days and week in advance. Rather than leave things to chance or to what
I felt like doing at the moment, I planned each day and week by listing
specific things that I wanted to accomplish. For example, I decided to do my
grocery shopping on a Monday afternoon when the store was less crowded and numerous
items went on sale.
5. I learned to meditate and incorporated that into my daily
routine. This one change has made a huge impact on my life. I now meditate
every morning after I wake up. It has taught me so much about myself, helped me
concentrate more, and become more mindful. It also has made me realize that my
thoughts can be extremely rambunctious and that I do not always have to attach
myself to them.
6. I decided to join my local gym and exercise 5 days a week. I
do this in the mornings before I start work. I lift weights and then do a
20-minute cardio workout. My gym also offers classes (free with the gym
membership) such as yoga which I sometimes join.
7. Another change I decided to make was to get rid of or
distance myself from friends whom I considered to be toxic or bad examples. I
knew that I wanted friends who had a positive influence on me.
8. Related to number 7, I started making new friends with people
I considered to be positive influences. I also spent more time with existing
friends who shared my goals to be a better person.
10. I also decided to cook more food at home rather than eating
out. I love to cook so this change was not as difficult for me as for some. I
now control what I cook and how much fat is added to my food. And I have been
saving a ton of money by eating out less. And when I do eat out, I try to order
healthier items on the menu.
11. Another change I chose to make pertains to
reading. I decided to read more books. I used to read a lot when I was younger
but, somehow, fell out of the habit. I now download great books on my Kindle app and read
them before bed at night on my iPad or phone.
12. I have curtailed my TV viewing and now watch much less
television compared to before. I have used this time to read more.
13. When I do watch TV now, I refrain from watching negative and
frivolous programming. I used to watch reality shows and loved watching crime
shows like Unusual Suspects but found them to have no real merit or educational
value. Some of the programs that I used to watch would actually have a negative
impact on me and subliminally get me depressed. My remote control is now used a
lot more discriminately to find shows that are uplifting and educational. I
love channels like National Geographic, Discovery, and PBS.
14. I cannot believe how much time I wasted in the past surfing
the internet and visiting web sites that posted junk. Today, I am more aware of
the choices I make with my mouse and I avoid web sites that predominantly post
violent, discriminatory, sexual and useless information.
15. After reading about the virtues of being grateful, I now
list 5 things every night that I am grateful for before I fall asleep. It could
be simple things like enjoying a nice meal or spending quality time with a
loved one. This has made me appreciate my blessings so much more and made me
more thankful.
16. A major change I have made in my life is to drastically cut
back on the amount of alcohol I consume. I still drink wine in moderation but I
do not indulge in vodka and binge drinking like I did before.
17. In the past, I managed to convince myself that I was a night
owl and definitely not a morning person. During the week, I now climb into bed
by 10PM and wake up much earlier than before. It took a while for me to adjust
my sleep habits and I now realize that it is possible to follow the adage early
to bed, early to rise. I feel so much more rested these days.
18. Another major change I have made in my life is being more
careful with my money. I now am a lot more discriminate when it comes to buying
stuff and I have learned to source out great bargains. I save a lot more than I
did before.
19. In addition to saving more money, I also invest my money
now. I have become a silent partner in a business and have also invested in my
own business.
20. Rather than spend money buying frivolous stuff that I do not
need, I now spend money on memorable experiences that I know I will cherish.
Whether it is going to visit my mother who lives overseas or going kayaking, I
now spend my money on great experiences that teach me a lot and afford me a lot
of fun.
21. I have decided to stay in closer contact with family and
friends whom I care about deeply. I used to be more self-centered and neglected
to stay in touch with my loved ones. I now take the time to call my Mom more
often, write more personal e-mails and letters, and simply be a better friend
and family member. This has brought me so much closer to those I cherish.
22. One thing that I have changed and do much better now is
managing my time. I did not realize how much I was wasting in a typical day on
frivolous things, be it daydreaming, spending time in a bar, watching boring TV
commercials, trolling the internet for useless gossip, etc. I now am more aware
of how I spend the most precious commodity all of us have been given, time.
23. Forgiveness is a big one for me. I can honestly say that I
used be bad at forgiving others and myself. I was equally hard on others whom I
perceived had wronged me, as well as on myself for all my past mistakes. I
spent a lot of time learning to forgive myself and others and this has freed me
from so much anger and resentment.
24. In addition to meditation, I have learned to incorporate
visualization/guided imagery into my daily routine. Every morning before I
meditate, I visualize and picture outcomes and goals that I desire. I do not
just visualize it; I actually try to feel the feeling of actually accomplishing
the outcome. I have found this to be extremely powerful.
25. I have to admit that I used to be a coward when it came to
visiting the doctor or dentist. For years, I avoided them like the plague.
However, I now have chosen to view going to the doctor and dentist frequently
in a more positive light. I schedule visits regularly and my fear has been
greatly reduced. I focus on the fact that prevention is better than cure.
26. In the past, I have been guilty of spending too much time at
bars and clubs. I now have cut back on those activities significantly and
substituted them with more wholesome activities. I am now more likely to go
hiking, visiting a state park, taking up photography, bird watching, going to
the beach, joining a yoga class, etc.
28. Another major change I have made in my life is
making time to learn new skills and increasing my knowledge. I am more likely
to enroll in a photography class now, or watch a TED talk, or
choose a great documentary on Netflix to watch as compared to before. I read
books on meditation, exercise, nutrition, etc.
29. If there was an award for procrastination, I think I would
have been in the running in the past. I would procrastinate a lot, especially
if the task at hand scared me or seemed daunting. I have greatly improved this
tendency and now jump into things without letting fear get the better of me. I
have learned that the small act of starting a task makes all the difference
because it builds momentum and confidence and motivates me to continue.
30. One thing that I do much more now as compared to before is
challenging myself to do things that I consider difficult. In the past, I would
shy away from difficult endeavors because I was scared and did not believe in
myself sufficiently. I realize now that many of these fears were unwarranted. I
also know now that challenging yourself is the only way to grow and improve. I
now view the discomfort in a different light. If I am uncomfortable doing
something, there is a good chance it’s because I am taking myself out of my
comfort zone and learning something new.
31. Last and not least, I do my best to love myself now. I do
not take myself as seriously and try to practice unconditional self-love. I
make a conscious effort to practice simple but positive affirmations throughout
the day that emphasize self-love and worth.
I have incorporated these changes gradually over time and have
found that each of them supports the other. I’d like to make it clear that in
no way am I successful 100% of the time. I am far from perfect and still have
many faults. In fact, I fail often. However, two things have happened:
1. I fail less often than I did before, probably because, like
anything else, things get easier the more you practice. And
2. When I do fail, I do not let it discourage me like it would
have before. I simply learn from my mistakes, make changes and move on.
I can sincerely say that these changes have made me a happier,
more successful and more equanimous person. I could not have even imagined the
life I have right now, and I am still learning every day. If I can do it,
I know you can, too. I blog about these and other experiences regularly because
I want to share my experiences and help others.
I believe in you. What changes are you going to make in your
life?
Source: https://bit.ly/3n5KmBX
David Naidu. David
Naidu is a co-founder of SkilledAtLife.com and
started the blog because of his deep desire to better his life. He
knew deep inside that there were fundamental principles to leading a happy,
healthy, fulfilling and prosperous life that he wanted to learn and apply. He
also wanted to share his research and findings with others who desired to
change their lives for the better.
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