Thursday, December 17, 2020

How to Become a Better Person in 12 Steps. Part I

It’s normal to feel like you could be doing more when it comes to self-improvement. But being a better person doesn’t involve being overly hard on yourself. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

The more self-kindness and self-compassion you can foster, the more equipped you’ll be to treat those around you the same way. Plus, doing good for others can give your life a deeper sense of meaning. It may even help to improve your physical and mental health.

Here’s a look at some ways to build self-improvement into your daily routine and let go of negative thoughts about yourself.

1. Cultivate gratitude

You’ve probably heard it a million times, but keeping a gratitude journal of what you’re thankful for can have a big effect on your mindset. Research has shown that incorporating gratitude into your daily life can help ward off stress, improve sleep, and cultivate more positive social relationships.

Anna Hennings, MA, a mental performance coach in sport psychology, recommends using the acronym GIFT to help you identify what you’re grateful for.

GIFT TECHNIQUE

When thinking about things you’re grateful for, look for instances of:

  • Growth: personal growth, like learning a new skill
  • Inspiration: moments or things that inspired you
  • Friends/family: people who enrich your life
  • Tranquility: the small, in-between moments, such as enjoying a cup of coffee or a good book
  • Surprise: the unexpected or a nice favor

When listing things you’re grateful for, notes Hennings, make sure to also note why that thing makes you grateful.

2. Greet everyone you meet

Whether you nod or smile to strangers passing by or say “good morning” to everyone who enters the office, make an effort to acknowledge those around you when you see them, says psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree.

In doing so, you’ll notice might find yourself feeling more present and connected to those around you, even if you don’t have a close relationship with them.

3. Try a digital detox

Unplugging for even a small amount of time can be beneficial to your well-being. The next time you find yourself with nothing to do, step away from your phone for a few hours.


Instead, try going for a walk and connecting with your thoughts.

Step away from your phone either for a few hours or even take the entire day off of devices. Instead, try getting outside and connecting with nature, or meeting up with friends IRL. Remember: Even a short break from your phone can help you unwind and focus on what brings you joy.

4. Use positive self-talk

It’s easy to get caught up in being overly harsh and critical of your perceived failings. This negative, unproductive self-talk can lower our overall motivation, explains Hennings.

If you’re constantly telling yourself you aren’t a good person, for example, it’s hard to find motivation to take steps toward self-improvement.

Practice positive self-talk by stating a fact and following up with some optimism.

FACTS + OPTIMISM = POSITIVITY

The next time you find yourself feeling incompetent or overwhelmed, try telling yourself:

“I know this change is going to be challenging, but I’ve put a lot of meaningful thought into it and have considered all the options open to me [fact], so I feel confident I am doing the best I can in this moment [optimism].”

The hard part is catching yourself in the act of negative thinking and intentionally deciding to think differently. But with a bit of practice, this will get easier.

5. Practice random acts of kindness

Being kind to others can help give you a sense of purpose and make you feel less isolated.

Try doing something nice for someone at random:

  • Pay a compliment to a stranger.
  • Buy lunch for your colleague.
  • Send a card to a friend.
  • Make a donation to someone in need.

“You’ll notice your mood lift a little when you do good for the sheer joy of it,” says Roantree. StudiesTrusted Source show that simply counting acts of kindness for one week can boost happiness and gratitude.

6. Eat at least one meal mindfully

When you’re caught up in the middle of a hectic day, it’s tempting to rush through your meal without listening to your body.

Mindful eating gives you a chance to check in with both your physical feelings and your emotions.

Pick a meal, even if it’s just a sandwich, and take your time eating it. Notice the different tastes and textures. “It’s a type of mini meditation that can act as a simple ‘de-stressor,’” says Roantree.

Not sure where to start? Our guide to mindful eating can help.

Source: https://bit.ly/3r7RTmH

About the authors

Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP — Written by Cindy Lamothe

Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior. She’s written for The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, and many more. Find her at cindylamothe.com.

Dr. Timothy Legg is board-certified as both a geriatric and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner and is also a licensed psychologist. He graduated from Touro College in New York with a doctorate in health sciences research and education and from California Southern University in Irvine, CA, with a doctorate in clinical psychology. He’s currently a university professor and clinician in private practice. He’s certified in addiction counseling, public health, health education, and is also an AIDS-certified registered nurse. Tim is a vegetarian, and in his free time, he’s an avid weight lifter and jogger.


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