It’s normal to feel like you could be doing more when it comes to self-improvement. But being a better person doesn’t involve being overly hard on yourself. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
The more
self-kindness and self-compassion you can foster, the more equipped you’ll be
to treat those around you the same way. Plus, doing good for others can give
your life a deeper sense of meaning. It may even help to improve your physical
and mental health.
Here’s a look at some
ways to build self-improvement into your daily routine and let go of negative
thoughts about yourself.
1. Cultivate gratitude
You’ve probably heard it a million times, but keeping a gratitude journal of what you’re thankful for can have a big effect on your mindset. Research has shown that incorporating gratitude into your daily life can help ward off stress, improve sleep, and cultivate more positive social relationships.
Anna Hennings, MA, a mental performance coach in sport psychology, recommends using the acronym GIFT to help you identify what you’re grateful for.
GIFT TECHNIQUE
When thinking about things you’re grateful for, look for instances of:
- Growth: personal growth, like learning a new skill
- Inspiration: moments or things that inspired you
- Friends/family: people who enrich your life
- Tranquility: the small, in-between moments, such as enjoying a cup
of coffee or a good book
- Surprise: the unexpected or a nice favor
When listing things
you’re grateful for, notes Hennings, make sure to also note why that thing
makes you grateful.
2. Greet everyone you meet
Whether you nod or
smile to strangers passing by or say “good morning” to everyone who enters the
office, make an effort to acknowledge those around you when you see them, says
psychologist Madeleine
Mason Roantree.
In doing so, you’ll
notice might find yourself feeling more present and connected to those around
you, even if you don’t have a close relationship with them.
3. Try a digital detox
Unplugging for even a
small amount of time can be beneficial to your well-being. The next time you
find yourself with nothing to do, step away from your phone for a few hours.
Instead, try going
for a walk and connecting with your thoughts.
Step away
from your phone either for a few hours or even take the entire
day off of devices. Instead, try getting outside and connecting with nature, or
meeting up with friends IRL. Remember: Even a short break from your phone can
help you unwind and focus on what brings you joy.
4. Use positive self-talk
It’s easy to get
caught up in being overly harsh and critical of your perceived failings. This
negative, unproductive self-talk can lower our overall motivation, explains
Hennings.
If you’re constantly
telling yourself you aren’t a good person, for example, it’s hard to find
motivation to take steps toward self-improvement.
Practice positive self-talk by
stating a fact and following up with some optimism.
FACTS + OPTIMISM = POSITIVITY
The next time you find yourself feeling incompetent or overwhelmed, try
telling yourself:
“I know this change is going to be challenging, but I’ve put a lot of
meaningful thought into it and have considered all the options open to me [fact],
so I feel confident I am doing the best I can in this moment [optimism].”
The hard part is
catching yourself in the act of negative thinking and intentionally deciding to
think differently. But with a bit of practice, this will get easier.
5. Practice random acts of kindness
Being kind to others
can help give you a sense of purpose and make you feel less isolated.
Try doing something
nice for someone at random:
- Pay a compliment to a
stranger.
- Buy lunch for your
colleague.
- Send a card to a friend.
- Make a donation to someone
in need.
“You’ll notice your
mood lift a little when you do good for the sheer joy of it,” says
Roantree. StudiesTrusted Source show that simply counting acts of
kindness for one week can boost happiness and gratitude.
6. Eat at least one meal mindfully
When you’re caught up
in the middle of a hectic day, it’s tempting to rush through your meal without
listening to your body.
Mindful eating gives
you a chance to check in with both your physical feelings and your emotions.
Pick a meal, even if
it’s just a sandwich, and take your time eating it. Notice the different tastes
and textures. “It’s a type of mini meditation that can act as a simple
‘de-stressor,’” says Roantree.
Not sure where to
start? Our guide to
mindful eating can help.
Source: https://bit.ly/3r7RTmH
About the authors
Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D.,
CRNP — Written by Cindy Lamothe
Cindy Lamothe
is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the
intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior.
She’s written for The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The
Washington Post, and many more. Find her at cindylamothe.com.
Dr. Timothy Legg
is board-certified as both a geriatric and psychiatric mental health nurse
practitioner and is also a licensed psychologist. He graduated from Touro
College in New York with a doctorate in health sciences research and education
and from California Southern University in Irvine, CA, with a doctorate in
clinical psychology. He’s currently a university professor and clinician in
private practice. He’s certified in addiction counseling, public health, health
education, and is also an AIDS-certified registered nurse. Tim is a vegetarian,
and in his free time, he’s an avid weight lifter and jogger.


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